Showing posts with label 0 Stars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 0 Stars. Show all posts

June 17, 2009

In the Wake of the Boatman, by Jonathan Scott Fuqua

I received this book in the mail recently to review, and all the marketing materials sent with it gave glowing reviews.

After reading all of that and the book jacket, I was deeply confused. Here is an excerpt:

In the Wake of the Boatman is a study of family dynamics and sexuality. The narrative concentrates on the life of Puttnum Douglas Steward, born during the middle of World War Two, and immediately considered better off dead than alive by his father. And so begins Puttnum's life. Spanning the next thirty three years, his is an existence of deep sorrow and humorous irony. A befuddled adolescent, Puttnum is a good, hardworking student, but an angry young man. In his junior year of high school, he is arrested for joy riding, an event which galvanizes his father's poor opinion of him. Nevertheless, two years later he is accepted into the University of Virginia on an ROTC scholarship. Cloistered away at school, he begins to detect something different about himself, culminating in a brief, unnerving fling with his annoying cadet commander. After college, in the weeks prior to officer's training school, he dons a dress and pantyhose for the first time, initiating a struggle to accept this unexpected and entirely unwanted facet of his personality. Initially horrified, Puttnum asks to see action in Vietnam, where he is determined to suppress his urge or terminate all problems. Instead, he returns to the states three years later, wounded and decorated and no less confused. Through fate or irony, he immediately becomes an American mole within a Russian spy ring. This event ultimately catapults him into the nation's conscience, where the media and the Army depict him as the prototypical American man. A flustered icon with a bizarre secret, Puttnum becomes the armed forces' token hero, its soul luminary in the Vietnam era. Racked by guilt and his father's death, his problems begin to boil, and he flees his life and celebrity in a final attempt to come to terms with himself. There are many characters throughout the book, all of whom make an impact, of some sort, on Puttnum's. His beautiful sister Mary, a psychologist, understands others better than she understands herself. Her husband, Chester (Survival) Darwin, is the archetypal Hemingway male and the logical person to secede her father as the dominant man in her life. He is the type to swallow tacks to illustrate his hardened nature. His mother, Helen, is a woman of extreme beauty and a weakness for the bottle. Well meaning but misguided, she is an alcoholic with an aristocratic lineage. More than anything, she desires to recapture her family's lost nobility, a state which she believes existed, momentarily, in the early years of her marriage. Puttnum's father, Carl, is a man confounded by the masculine stereotypes of his time. An annoying knee injury, suffered in childhood, keeps him from service during World War Two. A series of scarred ligaments and muscles cramps one of his legs whenever he experiences high pressure situations. Humiliated by the implications, Carl projects his anxieties onto his male child, and worries, throughout the years, that his boy will never stack up. As he gets older, however, he begins to perceive, in moments of introspection, that his behavior is the cause of their alienation.

Got that?

This most certainly was not a book that I would ever pick up on my own, but I did make an honest attempt to read it. Unfortunately, this book is not for me. I could not get past the first few chapters. I skimmed through the rest, and could not for the life of me figure out the point of the novel. And I most certainly did not gain any sympathy for the main character, Puttnum. I was left with the distinct impression "why should I give a crap about him??"

Oh, and another pet peeve. The names!!!! Where in the world did Mr. Fuqua come up with names such as Milton Pilterpuss? Bertrand Capote? Percy Dishbrower? Only the women seemed to have normal names...like his sister Mary and mother Helen.

Since I am still confused about the point of the novel, I am not sure what group of readers out there would enjoy reading this. If you ever wanted to get into the mind of a man confused about a homosexual encounter he had in his college career and is ashamed of his desire to dress in woman's clothing, this book is for you.

I give this 0 stars because I can't wrap my mind around the point of the novel.

March 24, 2009

Save The Best For Last by Kim Hanks

There are days that I love being sent books to read and review and days that I hate them. Today was one of the days I hated it. This could be one of the worst books I've ever read. Normally I can pick out at least a few good things to save a book, but I almost couldn't finish this one (and it's less than 100 pages). I felt like I was reading a story written by an elementary school kid who doesn't understand how to write complex sentences. It was like the author just wrote down everything they were thinking without thinking about what they were writing. An example- "Some times Zwick would feel as if he was only three inches tall because Kent who was once his friend had behaved in this abominable way to separate him from Whitney." It was seriously just painful to read. The only thing worse than the writing was the plot. Here's the plot.

1. Girl's mom is in a car accident because of an evil curse on the town. Girl is depressed.
2. Girl meets boy whose parents also died. Girl and boy become best friends and like each other.
3. Boy's friends also like girl.
4. Boy doesn't tell girl he likes her. Girl falls for boy's friend, and they get engaged.
5. Girl's father hires boy's other friend (not girl's fiance) to kill fiance.
6. Friend shoots everyone at school and blames on boy who's put on trial for murder.
7. Friend gets caught and is given death penalty.
8. Dead friend comes back and haunts town, killing everyone.

I'm not joking. That's really the storyline. Horrible huh. I'm just glad it was only 100 pages because I couldn't have taken much more. I do not recommend this book to anyone.


March 16, 2009

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

I hated it. Just loathed it. It carefully narrates the rape and murder of a little girl in such detail that I have deep suspicions about the author. I feel unclean after reading it. I'm not going to provide any links to it as you should NOT go find this book.

Here is a link to a more informative and more detailed review if you want to know more about the story. I always feel badly slamming a novel as I know how hard it is to write them. Nevertheless, it is an awful piece of work. To quote the reviewer linked above:
What makes the pointlessness of the novel so aggravating is the selection of subject matter: the rape and murder of a child (and the aftermath). I'm not suggesting that such subject matter should be off-limits for fiction, but I am suggesting that if an artist wants to go there, it'd better be worth the trip. In short, she'd better have something damned important to say that justifies (and indeed requires) the fictional portrayal of such horrors.
Sebold doesn't.

~Suzanne

February 11, 2009

Sleeping Arrangements by Madeleine Wickham

After reading a couple of heavy books, I decided to check out a chick-lit book that I had picked up at the library. I enjoy the Shopaholic series written by Sophie Kinsella as a quick read, so when I discovered that her real name is Madeleine Wickham and that she writes more serious books under her real name, I was intrigued.

The premise of this book is that there are two families desperately in need of a vacation to get away from the stresses in their lives. Both are invited by their mutual friend Gerard to spend a week at his villa in Spain. Unbeknown to both families, he has double-booked them. So they spend the week together. But all is not as it seems, for two of them used to be a couple, but their spouses do not know.

I attempted to read this book, but it was horrible. While the plot seemed interesting...throwing the two families together and seeing what happens...the problem is nothing happened. The characters were all selfish and one-dimensional. Everything that happened to them was predictable.

So do yourself a favor and don't bother reading this book. It is just disappointing.

August 16, 2008

Reader, I Married Him by Michele Roberts

This book was a phenomenal waste of time.

So many times I wanted to put it down because there was just no plot evident, but the writing itself was good enough that it continually convinced me that it was just a slow starter. Yep, it was such a slow start that it never got going at all. I can't believe I read the whole thing.

It kind of reminded me of Under the Tuscan Sun, but with no plot or any amount of plausibility. Romance? No. Unemotional sex with crude language? Yes. Mystery? No. A very shoddy attempt at mystery with a purely stupid explanation and anticlimactic discovery? Yes.

Some other really annoying things about this book:

A progressive nun that snorts cocaine and pulls a gun on her bishop without ever explaining why beyond "I just wanted to scare him a little." Yeah, but why????

One of those books that makes it look like everyone goes to Italy all the time and just happens to know everyone there and run into everyone from back home as well. And that if you go to Italy everyone will invite you to their house to meat Nonna and eat quaint rustic meals.

This book was just stupid on so many levels. I give it no stars.

Avoid!
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